I would like to go on the record as stating that this may have actual been an okay week. Mind you that may not be monumental to you but it weighs significantly in my realm of being. Though as I think back maybe it’s more sad than good by other standards.
Monday I went to the psychiatrist as you may have dawned on from previous posts, I may perchance dabble in carrying baggage. Any who, I figured I have insurance now so I’ll put my big girl pants on and go, see what this unbiased third party has to say. I picked a christian one cause I don’t know why I think they would be less, here take this drug, maybe it’s the random rude comments people have made to me about not praying my problems away (note to self see if one can pray away a broken nose). So back on track my Dr. sits me down and asks me why I’m there etc, and to explain if anything makes me nervous. I was like sweet she not looking at me like I’m a crazy person maybe I’m not as bad as I think, maybe I can deal with my issues by not dealing with them…..I should have known better. I will paraphrase the words that now have me on Zoloft (generic) and taking a battery of blood tests.
“Well I get nervous in crowds. When I sit in a room full of people my back needs to be against the wall. I need to know where the exits are. I don’t like walking in front of the group I’m in. When walking around campus I don’t like direct eye contact with people. People make me nervous, it takes a big effort to be around my friends. I mean I would think just guys make me nervous but it’s people in general. Oh and I tend to be angry more than I probably should be. “
DR: how about your sleeping patterns
“I have to take two 500mcg b-12 to go to bed it’s the only thing that gets me to sleep. This statement is what got me the battery of test and my doctor stating that is the weirdest thing she’s every heard.
I mean I knew I need an anti depressant, but is it wrong I really wanted her to be like “You are totally okay, we just need to tweak when you go to sleep and eat more veggie’s and you are good to go.
Tuesday (skipped class ^_^)
V-day: made it to class, and random creeper tries to get my number at gas station. The reason this added to my week is not cause I was like OM gosh like he totally that I was like all that and the bag of chips” but more “Om gosh I have a totally random story to break the ice with when I meet my friend later.
Today I cleaned my room and am heavily behind in homework, but hey my rooms clean, and everyone in my family is healthy for the most part, Jesus loves, I got to read the bible and do devotions all week, so yeah overall not the worst week. But hey that’s my opinion, Expect more updates as I try to start dealing with my rocky childhood, while on medication, working FT and going to school. Only God could save me know