Clarity Among the Smog covered Sky

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So I know, you’ve all been waiting on bated breath for my next post, ……..PREPARE YOURSELF, it will be the most usual un-extraordinary thing you read today.  However I don’t presume to know how much excitement you get daily. Anyway now that we’ve greeted one another let’s get to it.

                As you may have noticed I have not kept up with the predetermined structure of things, I have decided I am too disorganized to place my thoughts on specific days. I honestly attempted to and I tip my hat to those who are able to succeed where I have failed. So this basically just means all the topics I listed will be addressed just whenever I want or all at once. This is feeling like an all or nothing post

                So firstly I just finished moving back home to have the mortgage company say time to pack up. Sigh it has and will be a daunting time. We had our first garage sale ever and I can proudly state we made 186 dollars ^_^. That may seem like chump change but I was excited as we were going to throw all this stuff away due to downsizing. So this whole situation has been mellowing my family out majorly which is understandable. My way to cope is to wade through and attempt to tackle something that does not require me to really do anything but is socially acceptable to complain about while doing nothing.

                And that ladies and gents (classy right 😉 brings us to dating. Now I tend to think of this subject when I have way more important stuff to think about. This is called deflection kiddos, which works well. Now I won’t say everyone around me is dating cause they aren’t, so no comparing. The thing that bugged me is I went out looking like this todayImageand not a single date in my entire life. Mind you I don’t count creepy cat calls, as adoration from the males of our species. Now I don’t mean that I’m surprised that men saw all this awesomeness (note heavy sarcasm,) and weren’t tripping over themselves. What I mean is I’m a half well adjusted girl with a shoulder bag of issues no more and am still eating sushi wondering why I’m single.

                Mind I know that I am single because I’m not ready for a real relationship and God is trying to save me from heartache, but it’s like when your mom won’t let you play on the street with the cars. Mom keeps staying we will be going to a park full of swings, it will be fun you just have to wait until we’re ready to leave. Mean while as a kid your just thinking yea the parks great, but how come all those kids get to play on the street, why don’t they have to wait, yes it dangerous, yes it’s not as cool as the park but is there now. That’s how I feel like I want to settle.  Now please mind this any gents reading this I am not demeaning you by comparing you to playing around and apologize for any offense beforehand.

                What I mean by all this is my impatience gets the better of me. More so when I have terrible things happening to me, I have an innate need for the scales to tip. Yes I have to move again have no stability when I attempting college again, have my student loans threatening to send me to collections because I haven’t been a good little student, but hey I get to go hang out with someone and forget all of it. Pretend I’m carefree, make out breath, and live in the moment. However relationships only exist that way in a 90min movie or AMV.  I want a snapshot of happiness amongst everything.

                Now mind you I am extremely blessed, beyond words, so I know for me this sucks, it could be worse. It can get worse, if it like to but at the end of the day I have God. So yeah I have to work harder at walking up every morning. And maybe I cry more than I like, but at the end of it all I have someone to lean into, that loves me. So I’ll let him worry about it.  I will give my worries to my Savior and lose control. Just let His will be done. Change the things I can and accept those that are unchangeable. 

pssss: I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO MAKE PICS SMALL GRRRR!!!!

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