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Okay so I had stated I would go into further detail about my new blog structure. Which I will do now….

——-Mondays– will be about growing up, things God is teaching me things I don’t always want to learn. The way I continue to try and “grow –up” Basically Monday will be very personally, a short of breakdown before the week ever begins.  I will be delving into God’s word, seeking Him, His glory and purpose without me at the center; while looking for guidance for the rest of the week.FYI this will be a very God driven post, if you don’t like it I suggest not reading further cause you will more than likely be annoyed a majority of the time reading these posts.

Weightless Wednesdays – This will be when I get things off my chest, could be randomness; perhaps a lamp shade is crooked. Or even something amazing like I LOVE NARUTO. Basically it’s the things I never say, because I’m worried what others will think. As a heads up this post is the epitome of a SOAP BOX. I’m talking street corner antics; I will try not making it complaint ridden.  Also a huge part of Weds will be me sharing a lot about who I am. Wednesday will be a direct guide to me. This is both good and bad depends on who you thought I was previously.

———-Fitness Fridays– I’m fat, I know: O HUGE shocker, except for not, regardless of the big reveal, I’m taking my health seriously and this will chronically the mind behind the body. What I’m doing, my weight, measurement s, you know the whole ten yards. Regardless this will likely be just game planning and hopefully inspirational to anyone attempting the journey to freedom.

And lastly a sort of Random post will happen from time to time you might say it fits under Wednesday’s category since it’s random. These posts will be suggestive in nature, not gross or anything but politely put, passion posts. It’s a very rare side of me I don’t get to share ever so there’s that, so to get a great view of what these post will look like I will create one that includes all 3-4 ^_^.

****So God has really been speaking to me about my lackluster for His relationship. Do I love him most certainly, do my actions show this a 100% of the time, negative. Some days it not near, the flat 10 percent. I let emotions reign and takeover things that should only be controlled by God. Fun fact I love being in control, like best day ever I’m in control of every minute that passes. Worst day someone else is, which is weird as I am never in actual control. I am reminded of this fact every day; I have to wake up for the wonderful thing that is work.  I am learning to lean on God as Noah did. That guy just prayed for rain, building without questioning. Even Abraham questioned God, when He promised to keep His                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          covenants, and the blessing he had for His people.

******This one will be a combo of random and weightless Wednesdays. My mom was discussing how she had overheard Christian guy, talk about how he goes after insecure and big women or single moms since they are easy target. Now we all agreed this was true and terrible thing (not going to lie totally judged the guy as a douche). Now I stated I had a similar conversation with my co workers expect not as degrading (though I guess you’ll be the judge of that). I had stated that the best person to marry is someone who at someone point in their life was insecure or fat or didn’t feel pretty, but now has grown out of it to the mature well rounded adult you are about to marry. Obviously they inquire to why and I simply stated the sex will be amazing, because no matter how much you grown a small part of you wants to prove yourself and wants the other person to feel amazing. This equation equals an amazing marriage. It’s how relationship should be each person striving to love the other as God loves us. I find people who live life arrogantly are selfish and therefore assume this translates in to the wedded bliss portion of marriage. I can only use myself as an example I am in the process of healing from childhood abuse and insecurity, and from time to time I think about marriage. I don’t want to feel less than when I’m most vulnerable. So I plan ahead a dance lesson here, an exercise there, and lastly I try and heal so that I can be whole.  So perhaps my assumption is more self based, as I’ve always said first thing I will say to my husband is your welcome ;).

***********Now lastly a post regarding, fitness I am currently 316 lbs. I am 5’4, this is not a healthy weight and a few pounds short of the heaviest I’ve ever been. The reason for this is I am an emotional eater I don’t deal with my problems I either don’t eat or eat way too much. This has been an ongoing battle since childhood, and one I have not been fighting. The reason I am this big is because of myself, I made promises I did not keep to myself and destroyed my confidence and lowered myself self esteem. But I am seeking strength in God to keep the promise I make to me so that I may regain my integrity, so this will not be an easy journey but a much needed one. I will update photos every month so as to see the progress. As a side note I usually give free reign to comments but please keep rude or offensive comments in your mind. Thank you very much for reading this far and I promise never to post something this long again.

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